


Solidarity

by Panther_Lover



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: FanFiction.Net, Fanfiction, M/M, Male Slash, Painplay, Rating: NC17
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-02-18
Packaged: 2018-01-07 07:19:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1117091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Panther_Lover/pseuds/Panther_Lover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some of the civilians that are on gate teams are suddenly supporting wounds that they don’t seem to be getting on missions. When John and Evan see a particularly nasty bout of cuts on their significant others, they’re not going to let it go any longer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Worthy

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Misunderstandings](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/33607) by Diamond-Raven. 



> This is inspired by Diamond-Raven’s story Misunderstandings. It’s almost like a sequel for that, only you know, not. Just the idea hit me that while I believe the story awesome, I don’t think John would be able to do it, and Rodney wouldn’t take no lying down. Please go read her story and leave a review for her fic’s as well as mine! You don’t need to read that to get this however. This takes place after Koyla failed to take Atlantis over. There will be torture in here, though not of the normal variety. Whether this will be a single chapter or multi-chaptered I don’t know. I guess we will see how it goes. MISUNDERSTANDINGS IS A STORY HOSTED ON FANFICTION.NET : https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4465632/1/Misunderstandings

I don’t own Stargate: Atlantis nor do I make any money off of this; as if there would be anyone willing to pay to read my things, if there were I wouldn’t be here now, would I? Don’t sue, mostly because I don’t want to have to show up to the court appointments, and less about having anything to lose to you.

Rating: MA, because this is me and its better safe than sorry. However as of this moment I don’t really think that it’s that bad.

Pairing(s): Sheppard/McKay; Lorne/Parrish this means slash people, don’t like don’t read.

Summary: Some of the civilians that are on gate teams are suddenly supporting wounds that they don’t seem to be getting on missions. When John and Evan see a particularly nasty bout of cuts on their significant others, they’re not going to let it go any longer.

A/N: This is inspired by Diamond-Raven’s story Misunderstandings. It’s almost like a sequel for that, only you know, not. Just the idea hit me that while I believe the story awesome, I don’t think John would be able to do it, and Rodney wouldn’t take no lying down. Please go read her story and leave a review for her fic’s as well as mine! You don’t need to read that to get this however. This takes place after Koyla failed to take Atlantis over. There will be torture in here, though not of the normal variety. Whether this will be a single chapter or multi chaptered I don’t know. I guess we will see how it goes.

Solidarity

Chapter One: Worthy

Rodney’s POV

I see John at the other end of the mess hall pulling a chair out for Teyla, and Ronon stealing one from the table behind them to drag over, just like every other day. It sends the same flood of warmth and happiness through me as it does every other time I see my family, because that’s what they are, family. I hiss slightly when someone knocks into my arm by accident, causing it to throb. Glancing down at the slightly pink bandages, I am suddenly flooded with cold and dread. Turning, I leave quickly before any of them notice me. I don’t deserve to sit with them. Because of me, Atlantis almost got handed over to Koyla. I know John said it wasn’t my fault, that I didn’t do anything wrong when I tried to explain. I get what he said, but he is just as wrong as he thinks I was.

//FLASHBACK//

“McKay, come on lets go,” I hear John say in clipped tones. I am tired, hungry, and cranky, not mentioning how guilty I feel already, and so I go on the defensive. Really it’s the only thing I can do to put this off, not that I don’t deserve it and more for what I did.

“I’ve got to get to the labs, see how much power we got for all our troubles, than I am grabbing a shower and going to bed for the next month,” I snap at him and suddenly his eyes narrow in anger, and even though I know I deserve so much worse, I growl at him before I can reign myself in. It’s more a reflex of defense than any real threat. He is suddenly at my side, holding onto my elbow.

“You obviously have no intention of taking care of that, now come on Rodney,” he growls into my ear, and starts to turn towards the hall, but I give a quick tug and pull my arm free, despite the pain it causes.

He turns back to me with a glare firmly in place but instead of arguing I decide to just be a man and get this over with. I quickly move down the halls, and despite knowing he wants me to go to our room, I go to mine; well, my old one which I mostly just use for an extra office area now, seeing as I spend the nights with John in our place. I hear the angry little noise he makes in the back of his throat but he just follows after me. I enter my room first and before I can get more than a step inside the room he tugs me into the bathroom and I sit down on the toilet. I wait for him to start in on me, because while he says nothing as he gets the med-kit out from under the sink, the slightly jerky movements of his hands and arms belie how angry he truly is.

I understand why. I betrayed him, Elizabeth, and everyone else as well as Atlantis when I broke and gave Koyla what he wanted. Everyone could have been hurt, or worse, killed. Not to mention how I disrespected the soldiers who did die when Koyla and his goons first came through. I say nothing at all, while he takes care of my arm. However, when he starts to throw the things back to where they belong with a lot more force than necessary, I decide that I should just make this as easy as possible for him. After all, I am sure that now he no longer wishes to be with me, not after he had seen how easily I break and cost him his soldiers’ lives.

“John, it’s ok, I get it. I have no one to blame but myself really. I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t excuse what I’ve done, but I am sorry. So sorry. I get it though, sometimes it’s just too late for sorry,” I trail off, looking away from him because, despite knowing it’s my fault and that I deserve this, I can’t help the burning feeling of pain starting in my chest at the knowledge that what we have is over. Though really why I should be surprised at anything but how I managed to screw it up is beyond me.

“What are you talking about Rodney?!” John demands in an angry and slightly scared voice. While the anger I understand, the fear confuses me. Why should he be scared of anything?

“I get why you’re so upset, why you‘re leaving me. I gave Koyla the codes, and I helped him with what he needed. I practically helped him kill your soldiers! And all because he what? He gave a little cut to my arm?! I would leave me too if our positions were reversed. You don’t have to let me down easy. I’m a big boy, John, I can handle it,” I snap, trying to just get this over with so I can curl up on my bed and cry until I finally fall asleep. I don’t turn back to look at him until I hear a heavy thud. Quickly jerking to see what happened, I see John on his knees in front of me, looking horrified. His hands are shaking, and I have to wonder if the extent of what I have done has finally sunk in, and if he was going to punch me now.

“Rodney, you- you think I blame you?! God, no! This isn’t your fault! I am NOT leaving you, Rodney! Jesus, Rodney, for someone so smart you sure can be thick sometimes! You did everything you could! You didn’t kill anyone, and I don’t want to hear another word against it. He tortured you, Rodney! You’re not a soldier, you’re not meant to be in that kind of a situation. I am not mad at you but at myself, for not having you off base by that point! If anyone besides Koyla is to blame it’s me, not you, Rodney,” John says before giving off a slight whine in the back of his throat. He slides his hands up my upper thigh before moving to sit right in front of me as if intent to prove he won’t be leaving he wraps his arms around my middle and pulls me tightly to him. It should be filling me with warmth, but all I can still feel is the cold.

“You’re wrong. I gave in; when people’s lives were on the line I gave in. They deserved better, you deserve better,” I tell him plainly because he has to know now so he can leave. So I won’t have to go through this again when he finally realizes that I am right. I hear his growl as his hands snake around my wrists and shake me slightly.

“Rodney, the man tortured you, for god’s sake; not cut you, tortured! I’ve seen wounds like it before, Rodney. How many times did he cut on that same spot?!” John shakes me again when I don’t answer right away.

“Three times,” I answer flatly. “He scratched me three times before I gave in.”

“Rodney, they weren’t scratches!” he growls at me, trying to help me; though why I don’t know because I don’t deserve it.

“You wouldn’t have broken. However, you could have died because I did,” I whisper, at last looking him in the eye. What if John hadn’t made it and it had been my fault? Our relationship was still relatively new. Still, I know I love him with all of my heart, and I almost got him killed because I couldn’t hold out on a few cuts. He blinks up at me for a minute before tugging me off the toilet seat and into his lap.

“I’m alive and ok. I would have broken as well, Rodney. Everyone would have. Eventually. Maybe not right when you did, or for the same reasons, but sooner or later they would have found what buttons to push to get me to cave. But Rodney, you’re a civilian, you’re not meant to be in these situations at all,” he tells me while pressing kisses to the side of my face and neck, wherever he could reach. However my mind has picked up on what he said. He is right, as a civilian I am not taught how to withstand torture. He, however, was.

“Teach me,” I mumble as I lie my head on his shoulder; beyond tired but glad to have finally figured out how to make sure this doesn’t happen again. I feel his frown against my neck where he had still been pressing kisses to.

“Teach you what?” he asks, sounding more than a little confused.

“Teach me how to withstand torture and pain,” I tell him, and feel him stiffen in my arms. He is already shaking his head ‘no’. Why is he shaking his head ‘no’? This is obviously the best course of action.

“No,” he tells me firmly.

“Why not? We have to make sure I am not a liability John!” I demand, angry at once. He said it wasn’t my fault; that I was just untrained, and here I am offering to let him teach me! He is always nagging at me to learn some military movies to protect myself with, and now that I agree, he says ‘no’?!

“I can’t, Rodney, even discounting the fact that we’re together, and I don’t want to torture my boyfriend. I don’t like hurting people. Civilians aren’t meant to fight, they’re meant to be protected by the military. It’s what we’re here for, Rodney!” he snaps while looking mortified that I would ask him. I guess he is right. Well, at least about him not being the one to do it. I wouldn’t want to do it to him. However, I dislike the way he shrugs off my wanting to learn how to do this simply because I am a civilian! We don’t have to be military to be strong! Sighing, I just nod my head and pull him back to me for another hug before standing up and offering him my hand.

//END FLAHSBACK//

I may not have pushed it with John last night but that didn’t mean I have given up on the idea. I might be a civilian but I am part of a gate team, and all gate team members need to be as prepared as possible for everything we face or we will be nothing but a liability. I can’t allow that and I am sure the others wouldn’t want to as well. I’ll have to get in contact with them so they know about the training. Somehow we’re going to have to keep it away from the soldiers as well, because something tells me they will have the same idea as John. Besides, he was right, you can’t ask your boyfriend to hurt you, they don’t tend to like to do it, and if they do, well, it tends to be a relationship killer.

“Hey McKay, you alright? You look a little pale,” I hear, and spin around to come face to face with Major Lorne. Just the man I needed; well no actually, I needed his excitable lap dog Parrish.

“Huh? Yes, I’m fine. Just haven’t eaten yet. Major, where is David?” I ask, deciding if I was really going to implement this training as a requirement for any and all science department heads to be allowed to go off world, I should start with the SIC’s own team as well. I see his eyebrow rise questionably. It’s understandable. Besides paperwork, and some outside conversations when the botany department needs my permission for the things, I don’t really have much to do with them down in the Botany Bay.

That aside, however, everyone knows Lorne and Parrish are together, and have been since damn near the first day when Parrish grinned, walked up to the man and told him in no uncertain terms, that he: one, found him hot; two, would be dating him; and three, was now going to be a part of his team. I remember him grinning, bemused, before realizing that the Doctor was completely serious and was waiting for a response, in front of everyone in the gate room no less. He ended up letting the Doctor onto his team, and nearly a month later they had moved in together.

“I believe he has this morning off. He should be getting up soon. Is there something the matter?” he asks, looking more than slightly worried, which I suppose after what happened with Koyla is understandable. I just wave him off telling him it’s nothing. After all, he wouldn’t want to be a part of this anymore than John, I am sure, especially when I explain to Parrish what will be required of him in order for him to be allowed off world to look for his precious plants. I turn to start to go when I feel a hand land on my shoulder.

“Hey doctor, the mess is that way,” he says while pointing behind himself, obviously waiting for me to go in ahead of him. Why was he waiting again? Oh yes, I told him I hadn’t eaten yet. He is just like John; no wonder Parrish likes him so much. I glare at him slightly before tugging my shoulder from his not really restraining grip.

“I got what I wanted already. I will be in my labs if you need something, Major. Dismissed,” I tell him, and really it is still completely strange the way that all the soldiers usually follow my commands as if I am in charge. Honestly, I think it’s just because they suspect that John and I are together. Which we haven’t really been trying to keep to ourselves anyway. Still, I do worry despite the reassurances from John about him getting into trouble because of DADT. However, he keeps shrugging it off, saying as long as we don’t make it a problem nobody will really care. So far he has been correct. Besides, I guess he is correct, with no way to get back home anyway. What can anybody really do about it?

“Yes, sir,” Major Lorne says in an amused drawl he tends to use when humoring someone. With a nod and a loose salute he turns and heads back and continues on his way into the mess hall.

Turning around, I take off in the direction of the resident section of the base. Unfortunately for me, seeing as how I really don’t want to run into any more soldiers, they’re above the first five floors where all the soldiers have holed up. Really, I get that they’re supposed to be first in line and everything, but it is kind of ridiculous. My old rooms could have been a lot closer to my labs if I could have had one of the rooms where the marines were staying. Sighing, I just go to the nearest transporter and transport myself outside of the base of the tower; all transporter activity for that tower has been cut off for security purposes. Walking up the 10 flights of stairs, and really why they would want to live so far away from both their respective work spaces is beyond me, I am panting by the time I reach Parrish and Lorne’s living quarters. Ringing the chime, I wait to be allowed entrance instead of just barging in like I usually do.

“Come in,” I hear Parrish call out, and give a slight tug in my mind on the ATA gene, open the door and go in. I look up and really it doesn’t surprise me that he looks so shocked to see me. This won’t be an easy conversation in the least, I am sure. However, I know he cares about Lorne, and if I get him on my side, the others should fall into line easily enough. Even if they didn’t, then they would just be taking off gate team’s Rota. We can’t compromise Atlantis like this ever again.

“Doctor McKay? Um, how can I help you?” he asks, clearly still surprised that I was here, while waving me to the sitting area. I take a seat on the slightly stiff seating arrangements of the Ancients. Really, I don’t see what others complain about. They’re really rather comfortable.

“We need to speak about your placement on Lorne’s team.” I decide that being blunt and to the point was the best course of action, and really, when have I ever done it any other way anyway? I see him stiffen and nod slightly before taking a seat in front of me.

“When you didn’t demand a change when we first started seeing each other, I had assumed you were alright with us still being on the same team despite being in a relationship. Has either of our work seemed unsatisfactory to you?” he asks with more than a little concern. That was another thing that took getting used to since becoming involved with John. Despite obviously being civilian many, including all the soldiers, accepted me as some sort of commanding officer for the soldiers. This is just ridiculous because I most certainly am not in charge of a bunch of apparently suicidal fly boys and jar heads!

“Your work is fine, as is the Major’s, as far as I am aware. Though I really wish people would stop assuming, just because John and I are together, that I somehow have any control over any of the military actions or how things play out with them! Anyway, no, my point is, what is your level of training for survival?” I ask, deciding to start with the basics, and work my way up. I see the confused pull of his brow but he answers me nonetheless.

“Well, I took the training courses required by the SGC, and some that Evan himself taught me when I became a part of his team. He teaches moves and blocks and the like for civilians who want to learn, and for soldiers who want or need a refresher course every Saturday we’re not busy. Would you like me to ask him to help you?” he asks me, with an enthusiastic smile. Really, the amount of time this man spends hyped up, if I could just find a way to harness it, we would never be without power again.

“How many times has he been captured because he refused to fall back without you?” I ask bluntly, and really I do feel kind of sorry when I see the pain flash across his face and his head drops down.

“I don’t, that’s not-. I don’t know, a few times. I don’t mean to get caught, honest. Most of the time we don’t even realize there is a problem occurring until it’s too late. Sir, I would never purposely put Evan in danger. I have told him multiple times he can, and even should, leave me when I get captured if he can get away. I know he would come back with a rescue operation, if that’s what you’re worried about,” he says, obviously unhappy to remember the times Major Lorne had given up without a fight so he could stay with the botanist.

“Of course you don’t mean it. Who means to get caught? The point is, after what happened with Koyla I realized that the civilian populations on the gate team’s Rota are woefully unprepared for things like this. Now, I don’t want to stop us from going off world, but unless we can be sure we can withstand anything the enemy throws at us, we will become nothing but a liability to the soldiers. This means we could end up compromising Atlantis. I’m sure you have seen your Major step in and take something meant for you under the impression you couldn’t handle it. He was probably correct, and that’s what we need to be addressing,” I state, and wait while what I say sinks in. He is frowning again, but then just looks at me.

“I understand what you’re saying, I do. What can we do about it though? Evan would never allow me to be hurt if he could take it himself, not that I want to be hurt or anything anyway. I can’t make the Major stand down, and I don’t think even putting me on another team will help with that,” he says, clearly unhappy with the thought of being put on another team’s gate unit away from Lorne.

“Training,” I say simply. Well, it might be hard to get it; we needed to learn to withstand pain.

“Training? What type of training?” he asks, but the slight narrowing of his eyes tells me he has caught on much quicker than John had. I nod my head slightly.

“Survival training on Saturdays with Major Lorne will become mandatory for any civilian before going off world. However, I also want us to learn to withstand getting hurt. If we can learn to withstand anything the enemy throws our way, we won’t be a liability to the soldiers. If there not worrying about us, and how to get us out protected, than they can concentrate on ending the problem much sooner. Sooner a problem is solved, the better it is for everyone involved; civilian and soldier alike,” I say, straight to the point. He looks slightly nauseous at my suggestion. Hell, I fell nauseous about it. Still, it needs to be done.

“I don’t think, Evan, I mean I could ask him, but I doubt he would be willing to do that. I don’t think I know anybody who would be,” he says quietly, more subdued then I have ever seen him. Then again, I am never happy when contemplating just how I am about to be hurt either.

“You can ask about the Saturdays, however no, I wouldn’t believe he would be willing to help with the second training course we will need. No, none of the current soldiers can be of any help there. In fact I don’t even want them knowing about it. This is purely a move on the civilian half of things. They’re already trained; they shouldn’t be burdened with our inabilities. I will make a few calls; see if I can’t get someone to help us out from the civilian side of things. Despite what others think, I DO have connections around here, you know. The second half of the training will only be required by those on a permanent gate team,” I say with a slight hump. Just because I don’t like to negotiate and talk to others, doesn’t mean I can’t do it. Sadly, I think I know just the man to do this and it won’t be pleasant, I am sure.

“So you want us to train with Evan, and then we also train with some person, on what? I mean, exactly what are you planning?” he asks while looking me straight in the eye, almost begging me to not say it. I wish I could back down. Forget the whole thing. While I deserve to be hurt for what I did with Koyla, nobody else does. I would gladly take it all for everyone, but I know that eventually something will happen and he will need to be able to withstand it as well.

“Saturday mornings will be Lorne’s where he will teach everyone survival training, then in the evening I shall have someone teach the off world permanent gate civilian team members how to withstand being tortured,” I tell him plainly, and see him go pale.

“Rodney, are you sure this is really necessary?” he begs me quietly.

“If you don’t want to do so, I understand. But understand this; if you don’t, and anybody else who chooses not to, you will not be allowed to go on off world missions. I will reassign you to base positions. David, you don’t want Evan hurt because you couldn’t keep it together, or god forbid, killed because someone beat on you, do you? This is to better safe guard Atlantis and everyone on it against anything like this happening again,” I tell him, and use his first name for the first time ever. His eyes go huge and seem to blank out momentarily before focusing in on me again.

“Of course I don’t want Evan hurt, or Atlantis harmed in anyway because I couldn’t protect my team. I don’t want to do it, but I don’t want to leave Evan’s team or be stuck on base all the time either. I guess I can understand the need for it, even if I wish it wasn’t necessary. I shall tell Evan about the impending announcement of mandatory survival training for the civilian members of our expedition. However, I think you’re right. If you really are going to do this, we shouldn’t tell the other soldiers about your other training plans. They would try to interfere, or get in the way and object, I am sure,” he tells me, nodding and finally getting down to the business at hand for what would be needed for this to work. That just confirms my other reason for seeking him out. Unfortunately, this is also necessary because of my incompetence as well.

“Then that brings me to my last reason for seeking you out. As you know; during the whole incident with Koyla I managed to lose us a few good people, and well, one of them was the botany’s department head. He needs replacing. That’s going to be you, David. You’re the best person I can think of for the job. You will report either directly to me or Zelenka if I am not around. Congratulations. I have to get going, I am supposed to meet John for dinner today,” I say as I stand when I realize just how much time had passed. I nod to him one last time before leaving him in his own thoughts and take off so I won’t be late for my dinner with John. Don’t need him getting suspicious before I even start doing anything.

I stop by our rooms and change and shower before jogging down to the mess hall to meet up with John. I still feel slightly cold inside when I see him look up at me and smile, as if I could do no wrong, but it’s not as bad as earlier now that I have a plan in place to fix my mistake. I smile at him and quickly join him at our table. He leans over and kisses me quickly before pulling back and grinning at me.

“So, what have you been up to all day?” he asks as he starts to pick at his food. I dig in as I shrug my shoulders.

“Nothing much; I promoted Parrish to head of the botany department,” I tell him, obviously leaving the rest of what we talked about out. I see him grin and glance at Lorne who had just entered and grabbed two trays of food.

“Yeah? I am sure that will work out. Lorne says he has a good head on his shoulders and doesn’t argue back with given orders,” he says, and I just nod and continue to eat while he tells me about his day, thinking about what I would have to do to get this all set up without any of his soldiers, or him for that matter, finding out what I am doing. It was going to be a long couple of days to say the least.

//END OF CHAPTER//

Merry Christmas everybody! I hope you all enjoy your holidays! Well that’s all I have so far. If it sounds good and you would like to see more, let me know in a review please! Hope you enjoyed it, and don’t forget to thank bas_math_girl for beta-ing this and making it readable! I don’t know where I would be without her. Also don’t forget the lovely Diamond-Raven’s who inspired this! Drop by and give her a review on her own fic’s as a thank you please! HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!


	2. Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own Stargate: Atlantis nor do I make any money off of this; as if there would be anyone willing to pay to read my things, if there were I wouldn’t be here now, would I? Don’t sue, mostly because I don’t want to have to show up to the court appointments, and less about having anything to lose to you.
> 
> Rating: MA, because this is me and its better safe than sorry. However as of this moment I don’t really think that it’s that bad.
> 
> Pairing(s): Sheppard/McKay; Lorne/Parrish this means slash people, don’t like don’t read.
> 
> Summary: Some of the civilians that are on gate teams are suddenly supporting wounds that they don’t seem to be getting on missions. When John and Evan see a particularly nasty bout of cuts on their significant others, there not going to let it go any longer.
> 
> A/N: This is inspired by Diamond-Raven’s story Misunderstandings. It’s almost like a sequel for that, only you know, not. Just the idea hit me that while I believe the story awesome, I don’t think John would be able to do it, and Rodney wouldn’t take no lying down. Please go read her story and leave a review for her fic’s as well as mine! You don’t need to read that to get this however. This takes place after Koyla failed to take Atlantis over. There will be torture in here, though not of the normal variety. Whether this will be a single chapter or multi chaptered I don’t know. I guess we will see how it goes.

Chapter Two: Found

Rodney’s POV

I see Parrish and Lorne together just inside the door of the training facility. You would assume by looking that the Major would be the dominate partner, however you would be incorrect. Grinning, I give Parrish another minute to finish ravaging his mate’s mouth before coughing slightly to make myself known to them. A slight blush rushes up the Major’s cheeks and Parrish laughs before tugging the Major to his side and holding him there. Yeah, there was no question about who is in charge of that relationship.

“Can I help you in anyway, Doctor McKay?” Parrish asks with a grin of his own while focusing in on me.

It had been almost a month since I had informed the civilians that everyone had to have mandatory survival sessions every Saturday with the Major. There was some grumbling, but mostly everyone fell into step easily enough and no one had missed any of the lessons. The Major seemed quite happy to be training them, and all the soldiers in general seemed to breathe easier knowing we were learning how to defend ourselves. The few of us civilians who have permanent spots on gate teams were informed of the extra training that would be required of us to be out in the field. They were not thrilled, to say the least, but eventually they all came to agree they would take it to be allowed to continue on with their units. This leaves me standing here in front of Parrish who, sadly since Radak doesn’t have any permanent unit spots, became my second in this.

“I need to have a few words with Parrish Lorne; if you’re finished you can go,” I let him know, waving my hands about to indicate their obvious lack of anything of importance going on. They can have a make out session on their own time.

“Of course, Evan. If you’ll give me a few minutes I’ll meet you up in our quarters where we can finish our, uh, _conversation_ ,” Parrish says with a wolfish grin and I snort because, come on, the best he could come up with is conversation? Really? Apparently Lorne thought so as well because he went bright red and stammered out a sure before making the quickest retreat possible without running away out right. After staring at his ass on his walk out of the hall we had all been standing in, Parrish finally turns back and regards me with a raised eyebrow.

“What can I do for you, Doctor McKay?” he asks with a smile readily on his face. Unfortunately I don’t think it will be staying there for long.

“I have found our trainer. He will be starting tonight. Seeing as there are only a few of us civilians on permanent team units that see any front line action, he will do two sessions on Saturdays and two sessions on Sundays. We get two sessions a month. That way we have time to heal. Seeing as we will be given time to heal, he won’t be taking it easy on us. He wants to whip us into shape. Probably quite literally,” I say grimly, knowing he was hoping I wouldn’t find anyone to do as we needed on the base.

“I see. Who will be teaching us then?” he asks as neutrally as possible. At least he is professional about the whole thing.

“One of the men in the Medical Department. You probably wouldn’t know him. His name is Terry. He was a military brat, and had even served in the military himself until an injury took him off the front lines. He moved into the Medical Sciences after that. So he knows what he’s doing. Jenifer knows about what is going on as well. She will make sure we don’t die or get too injured we can’t do our jobs,” I inform him, and see his surprise at once. It doesn’t surprise me whatsoever. Jenifer was not as sweet and cute as she showed on the outside. She was actually quite a dominating person with a need to be in control. She hid herself well.

“Doctor Keller? She knows about this and is _fine_ with it?! I can’t believe it! I thought for sure if she ever found out she would flip,” he says; the shock showing clearly in the way he speaks so personally with me, though with what we’re about to go through together, I should probably just get used to it.

“Yes, well she is not as sweet as she likes to show off. If anything, she was upset because her duties require so much of her time she had to assign her lackey to be the one to personally doing the training. Though I wouldn’t be surprised if she dropped in and ‘ _helped_ ’ every chance she gets,” I inform him slightly bitterly.

Yes, Jenifer was not the way she pretended to be at all; I had learned that first hand. I still have the scar on my hip to prove it. Thankfully we didn’t last that long, and then me and John got together. I look up and see the curiously raised eyebrow and know I will not get out of this, so nod towards the transport and when he gets in teleport us to one of the unexplored parts; well at least unexplored by the anyone other than myself. He doesn’t bat an eye, just looks around and nods.

“Nice set up you have here. I have one of my own, other side of the city. It took a while to get everything to make it comfortable, but it’s mine so it’s worth the trouble of getting everything there secretly. So what’s this about Doctor Keller?” he asks while dropping onto the chair in front of the low set table. It was really little more than a sitting area. It had one room attached to it that was the bedroom at one point but I turned it into an office of sorts. After all, I had my own living quarters assigned to me. This is just for peace and quiet when I need to get away from everyone. It doesn’t surprise me he has a place similar for himself. In fact, if the whole since department didn’t have one I would be more surprised. As if we would be able to keep our curiosity down until the soldiers were ready to explore. Still, it was silently agreed upon that anything found out through this way, would be researched on with everybody to keep anyone from being hurt or found out. Besides, we didn’t keep secrets from the soldiers; well, not really. Alright that’s a lie, there is the vault, but that was for their own protection.

“She just has taste that I wouldn’t normally go for, that’s all. She will show up and watch over the sessions from time to time. Help out where she can, and she will likely be structuring our training, even if just from behind the scenes. It was necessary to get her involved because: one, she is dating the man who is going to be helping us train; and two, we will be getting hurt here. We’re going to need a person with a good medical background to make sure if things get out of hand, that we will be alright in the end. I am sure he could look after us as well, but well, why take second best when you can take the best period?” I say while handing him a glass of the hard liquor.

I know he doesn’t have to work anymore today, and if we’re going to go over this, something I haven’t even told John about yet, then we need to be drunk. He accepts the glass and takes a sip of it while settling back.

“You and the doctor? I always thought that was something to help keep John’s job intact because of DADT? What kind of taste?” he asks with a grin, and I sigh.

“Yes well, it wasn’t. John and I didn’t start, well, at least not actually until after Jenifer and I were done. Think dominatrix, but _way_ past that,” I say, hoping that being blunt and upfront will make this conversation over with quicker. Apparently my luck is not with me today.

“How do you mean ‘not actually’? Either you’re with someone or you’re not. Dominating was she? I wouldn’t have guessed it with the way she is like. Then again, she is a department head, so she does have the authority to do what she pleases. What didn’t you like about it?” he asks, and I gape slightly. We barely know each other and he wants to get into conversations like this?!

“We’re about to be tortured together, lie to our boyfriends, not to mention everyone else about what we’re doing, and lord only knows what that’s all going to lead us to, which I am sure it will lead to something, it always does. Yet you’re balking at a question about your sex life?” he asks with a quick grin. I have no idea how he can smile and talk about being tortured at the same time. Still, he’s right; it’s hardly time for me to get squeamish.

“John and I are together, and have been in the past before, however, it was more casual sex than any real relationship in the past. It wasn’t until just a few months ago that we actually decided to try for an actual real relationship. Surprised me he even asked, honestly. I was sure it was nothing but sex for him. He had never before hinted at it being anything other than that anyway. Of course it took about 3 hours, a run for our lives, and then a bit more confusion before he managed to properly ask me out. I still don’t know what that was all about,” I tell him with a shrug because, well, he is right we’re about to do a lot together and so we might as well get to know each other. It wasn’t likely this was going to lead to anything other than a doomed friendship, what with the torture and all, but never let it be said I didn’t give my all to everything I do.

“I was sure you were together from the start. I had figured the Major was your sub what with the way he was acting and all. Definite ‘taken’ vibes,” he says, and I can feel my face going red.

“My what?! I am not! We’re not like that! What vibes are you on about! The only vibes John ever gives out are the ones inviting priestesses and chief daughters to drool all over him,” I huff out. Honestly, John is so vanilla it still surprises me he is bisexual, and will sleep with a guy. I see him shaking his head and laugh out.

“Oh come on! You don’t see it?! He caters to you! He brings you food and coffee. He turns on tech for you, refuses to get sucked into the light switch Rota so he can stay with you all day. Then there are the times the man has to practically lock his legs in place to keep from just dropping to his knees at your side. Not that it helps his image any anyway, seeing as the second you snap your fingers he comes. You do have him rather wonderfully trained. It took me a long time to get Evan into such a mindset,” he says with a wolfish grin. The man might be all smiles, but don’t let that fool you, he is anything but sweet and innocent.

“I so don’t want to know what you and your boy toy gets up to in bed! John does not cater to me, it’s just I have food allergies and the cook lady has it in for me, so he gets me the food so she doesn’t know it’s for me, and you know, try to poison it! As for the coffee, he brings everyone that. It’s no big deal. He does not kneel! I’m telling you, John isn’t into that sort of thing. If we even talked about our feelings he would probably keel over from embarrassment. I highly doubt he is just waiting to drop to his knees for me. Really, it’s completely vanilla with us. Actually, it’s even less than that really. Just blowjobs and hand-jobs mostly,” I mutter it out, not really sure why I was explaining my worry over our sexual relation with John to him. Then just shrug, he started it by asking so if he has a problem, it’s his own fault.

“That’s it? What have you been doing then when it was just sexual? I also notice you don’t deny your own want of it, just the Major’s,” he demands incredulously, and I wince slightly before taking another swallow of my drink.

“It was mostly after missions that went wrong or had trouble with the soldiers or higher ups, when it was stressful that he would come to me, and I would help him out. That was also why when Jenifer offered I didn’t mind saying yes; it wasn’t like John and I were in a real relationship. So then she was into some things, introduced me, and I thought I would like it, but it didn’t turn out so much, well it did, just not in the way she hoped,” I say with a slight shrug. I had of course known of Doms and Subs long before her, but because of the way my life was I had never really had the opportunity to do anything about it before her. She told me straight off the bat she was a dominate person, and would be in charge. I agreed.

“So in short, in emotionally charged situations he sought you out to just be with you and hang out with you, not even really doing the sexual bit, and you didn’t think that meant he wanted to be with you? Well, that does explain the entire glaring and defiance thing he has going on with the doctor. I just assumed it was part of his cover. So you were into it, just you weren’t into being submissive? I don’t know how you are so brilliant and still don’t see some of the most obvious things. You are a dominate person, of course you wouldn’t be all that compatible with submission. Even more so when you’re already in a relationship with your own submissive. Trust me, I know what I am talking about,” he says with a nod as if that makes it law.

“You have no idea what you’re on about. Ok, yes I admit it; I like to be in charge. Especially in my personal life. John and I were not in a relationship before. Well ok, now I am wondering if some of his motives were relationship biased but if so he said nothing till after Jenifer and I broke it off. I can hardly be held responsible for that if I don’t know he wants to be in one! I can’t read minds, you know. That aside, however, John just isn’t into things like that. I would have noticed that if he were. I won’t do anything to jeopardize my relationship with him. He is barely comfortable that we’re officially together. He is always so jumpy when we do anything even semi-publicly. Hell, the sexual aspect hasn’t even upped or changed from what it was before, so I think I would have noticed if he say, liked dropping down and playing submissive for me,” I snap out irritably.

“Who first initiated the sexual side of things?” he asks.

“I did,” I say with a shrug, unsure where he is going with this. I might have started it but John definitely didn’t say no.

“When you did what did you say, or ask for? Specifically,” he asks bluntly, and I blush. I can’t believe I am having this conversation. I toss back the rest of my drink, and quickly pour another one.

“I asked if he would let me blow him. Help him relax, you know. He wanted it!” I snap out while raising my chin up. I know he wanted that, even if the rest might be blurred. Not that there was much in the ‘rest’ area anyway. Just a few surprise hand jobs.

“I have no doubt the Major wanted it. My point is _you_ started it. _You_ asked him into the sexual aspect, _you_ dictated what type of sex it would be. You probably have initiated it every time you fool around, yes? He is taking his cues from you. You asked about the blowjobs, and you gave the hand jobs. He probably thinks that’s all you want because you haven’t taken any steps forwards. You said it was confusing the way he asked you to get into a real ‘proper’ relationship with him? How so?” he asks while waving away the rest of everything I had said.

“I don’t know really. It was off somehow. It was my first mission since Jenifer and I were over. John had been staying close to me since the whole break up thing anyway. Then the whole mission through he was _right_ on top of me, practically sat in my lap at the greeting ceremony we had to sit through. We sat down to the feast, the talking got started. I think one of the girls on the planet kind of liked me. She asked if I was dating anyone; I said not at the moment. She continued talking; I pretended to listen while looking over my readings. She asked me if I wanted to go and sleep with her. I laughed and said she was a bit young. She assured me she knew what she was doing, and really did slide into my lap and kissed me soundly. Then John got upset and pushed her off. She yelled at him, said she had the right to try for my affection or some such seeing as I wasn’t claiming anyone as a mate. John yelled I have a mate, him. She became outraged that he would try to steal me from her. The pointing of sharp objects in his vicinity commenced. I had to blow up the supply room to get their attention off the cell he was being held in. We were running away,” I said with a shrug. It was almost a normal mission, the only difference being John and my roles were usually reversed.

“So he let you know he wanted you by saying that, and then you asked him out?” David asked with a slight frown.

“No, we were running away. Ronon and Teyla stayed behind to give cover to us because they had both been there before so they knew a fast easy way to the gate to catch up. He was babbling. About what he said. Apologizing for something. I still don’t know exactly what he was saying sorry for. In fact, that was how he asking me came about. I asked him what he was sorry for. He said he hadn’t meant to make it sound like I was his. I asked why he did say that, he shrugged and said he kind of wished he were with me. He was saying something else as well now that I think of it; what I don’t remember because I cut him off by grabbing him and kissing him while managing to keep us running at the same time. Then we were together since then,” I tell him, and he nods.

“He was probably embarrassed and apologizing about taking control from you. He was all over you since your break up with the doctor, and then someone started making moves on you again, and he probably just didn’t want another mix up like with Jenifer. Look, you don’t believe me, yes? So test it, tonight suggest in a vague sort of way about going further sexually. I guarantee you he is just waiting for your lead. If he isn’t, then you both can play it off lightly and keep on the way you have been, but if it’s as I think it is, he will be overly ready to try anything you want from him,” he says and I shake my head. I can’t believe I am even thinking of trying this.

“Oh and what do you suggest I do; say, hey John, would you like to get tied up, bent over and fucked? Used as I please, controlled and cared for as I see fit? Plus hello, it’s the Major we’re talking about here. He has to lead the whole flipping army of Atlantis. I hardly think that proves conductive to being submissive,” I say finally, frustrated.

“I am in charge with Evan, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t in charge when we’re in the field. I know and accept he knows more about protecting and soldiering and things along that line than I do. Therefore, is more suited to taking charge in such a situation. That stops at the gate, however. Everywhere else he is mine. Besides, you both already have a great working relationship; why would that ever need to change? It hasn’t just because you have started to date has it? Look, snap your fingers and demand coffee. The second he gives it to you tease him about following the snap like a dog would his master’s call. Playfully suggest you should train him to strip and be ready on command in such a way so that he’s always ready for you when you’re set to go. If there is something there, trust me, the words alone after so long will provoke a reaction. If not, it’s just some teasing that you do all the time to each other.” he says, and I find myself nodding and agreeing.

“If he kicks me out of our room, I will be taking camp at your place just to annoy you and your degenerate lover, just so you know,” I warn him seriously. If I can’t be sleeping with John over this, there is no reason he needs to be sleeping with Lorne. He snorts but nods, accepting at once. I am left wondering what I have just gotten myself into.

“Anyway, all that aside; assuming everyone sticks to it and takes it, how is this supposed to work? Not in theory but in actuality,” he asks, and suddenly the amusing and teasing conversation was gone and I swallowed the rest of the drink down, and this time he joins me, before refilling for both of us.

“Radak knows everything, of course; can’t keep anything from that snoopy chez. He disapproves of the method, of course, but I explained it was for Atlantis and the good of everyone involved. I usually delegate things of personal matters to him anyway. So I wanted him to know so if he noticed anything he could take care of it. He grumbled and cussed in chez for a while then agreed. You were with me for the rest. They were reluctant, but understood in the end that this is what’s necessary and best for Atlantis and everyone who lives here. I don’t think it will be easy by any means. Nobody likes to be tortured simply to be tortured, with no real end goal in sight. Who would? That’s why I also informed Miko. She, along with Radak and Jenifer, will keep an eye on things. Make sure nobody starts to slip up either in work, or chat about what we’re doing, especially to the soldiers. As for how the training is going to go down? I haven’t the slightest clue. I think it’s part of the torture, screwing with us to make us sweat and worry about what he is going to do,” I say with what I am sure is a scowl and stare at my drink unhappily.

“So basically he is just going to collect us, torture us, and then release us for a week or two, then rinse and repeat?” he asks, trying to figure out then ins and outs of this whole affair; like any good scientist would.

I don’t care how many times he tries his whole, ‘I’m just a botanist Rodney’ routine, I know he has a more practical scientific background; and one day I shall find the proof I need. Then I will set him to work with the rest of my minions! I shrug because I honestly don’t know. I believe that’s how it will go down, but I don’t know.

“Probably, but it could be anything, anytime, anyplace. They were so vague about that, I didn’t even bother to try to get information out of them about what would actually happen when the first sessions begin,” I tell him. He nods, accepting what I told him at once, and complies. I know I shouldn’t ask but something has just plain been bugging me about him and his help.

“You know, you’re really rather accepting of the whole situation. It’s weird; one could assume you even want it,” I tell him bluntly, and suddenly find myself on the end of a glare from him. I have never seen a negative emotion cross his face before and take pride in the fact that I was the one able to bring it out in him, even if it made him look like he was about to try to gouge out my eyes with his bare hands.

“I accept it because I know my place. Below you in the command chain, and because you told me that if I couldn’t prove myself to you in a way you find satisfactory I will lose my place with Evan. I will never allow that to happen. Ever. Evan and I are meant to be together. I know lovers are not usually allowed on the same work schedule, let alone teams for a strategic reason, and yes sometimes I will admit to proving why that reason is sound, but that means nothing to me. I love Evan, and he loves me. We belong together, and if doing this is how I accomplish that, then so be it. Then there is the whole: you’re my direct superior. I won’t disobey an order from you,” he tells me, and well, I will never admit it, I am awed and slightly stunned at his complete loyalty so quickly.

“I am sorry you know that it has to be this way. I have to make sure we’re all safe. Both the civilians and Atlantis herself. I am an engineer, a caretaker. I fix things when they break. We’re broken and I need to fix us. The soldiers think it’s their duty to die in our place. That we’re too weak, that we need to be protected. We need to show them that we’re equals; that we’ll protect them and Atlantis to the last. Same as them. If it counts for anything, I wish there was another way, I just don’t see it,” I let him know, and he nods, finishes his drink in one swallow and stands. He gets up and places the glass down on the table before resting his hand on my shoulder.

“I know, I do. I get why you’re doing this, and I agree because I want to protect everyone and Atlantis as well. So does everyone else on the gate teams. It’s why we have all agreed to this. In that respect, just in case what we’re doing ever comes to light, I prepared something for you. Should keep you from getting in trouble,” he says, handing me a folder I hadn’t even noticed he had in hand, before nodding to me one last time before heading out the door muttering about going to his own Major and finishing what he started. I call out a faint goodbye and open the folder, wondering what could be so important that actual paper was used. I scan the first paper, and my eyes widen at once. Quickly flipping through all the papers, I shake my head and quickly get up and lock them away in a place nobody but me knew about. The entire civilian gate team population had wrote out formal letters stating that they had accepted the ‘training’ of their own free will and that I hadn’t forced them into anything. Noticing the time, I quickly clean up the slight mess we made before heading out to get to our quarters before John got there. We have a standing lunch date.

** END OF CHAPTER **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, there is chapter two. I am planning on either an actual date for both parties (John and Rodney, and Evan and David) or the start of the ‘training’ for chapter three. Review and tell me what you would like to see in the next chapter! You never know, it might just show up! As always thanks be to my lovely beta bas_math_girl.


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